CraBlogged

Survived!

I'm usually ickysick on Christmas but this year I was only minisick; Maryl took the brunt of it; on Christmas eve, a fever, zonked out on the couch; me, just a sniffle I refused to make grow worse: full fledged christickness.

Holden made out like a bandit this year, and doesn't even realize it (as most 5-year olds go). He was accosted with gifts of all variety from a slew of relatives, at a varied number of actual Christmas-places. Ours, as previously mentioned (I think), was set up Nightmare afore Christmas style, with skeletons lit up and pumpkins bright orange, glowing spiders, and giant eyes adorning the tree. Gifts were wrapped in the usual style: 1am the day of Christmas, stuffed under the tree, and I remembered all of my old traditions mom instigated, such as!

*Waking up on Christmas morning to new, fancy pjs or blanket (pjs this time for Holden). Poor Holden. He woke up, got his gift, came into our room and said, "I hope it's not clothes!!!! I know it's not clothes!!!" - when he opened it, he was visibly shook. What is this, why did you do this to me his eyes spoke. His voice trembling a bit, he asked plaintively, "Is this all there is for Christmas?" Yes! Was both of our reply: is it cruel, or is it funny, or is it a lesson to teach of the joys of sarcasm? He was a trooper, he held back his tears - barely, and tried to say thank you. What a delicious boy.

*Another tradition from my olden days: wrapped up sugar-cereals. We've been very good with H, avoiding the typical lucky charms/fruitloop shenanigans and opting more for the raisin brans and cheerios. As a child Mom would wrap up our favorite cereals for christmas. An especial joy for a youngster, as anything wrapped up is automatically 85% more tastier.

*Saving best present for last: I'm sure everyone does this, and I'm sure a lot hide it as well to pull out at the last second as a super duper extra surprise. The twist this year was having him search for it. What he found was a D-Rex! It scared him, then delighted him, then bored him, then delighted him, then bored him again. It's sitting somewhere in his room - I hear him play with it once in a while so I guess the $100 was well worth it! :P It's funny, the toy he liked most was a small package of silly puddy. What can you do? Well I lie, what he plays with most is Kirby for the DS. Thattaboy!

New Year's, we promised him he could stay up as late as he wanted to. Last year this ended up being around 9:30, perhaps due to the fact that it was just me and mom watching movies in the dark on the futon. This year however was tremendously different. Maryl's dad, step mom, and a sis came by to party. My goodness did Maryl put out a nice spread - prosciutto, pepperoni sticks, 3 types of fancy cheeses, spicy hummus dip with pita chips, various types of crackers, pickles, olives; we didn't even get into the nacho chips and salsa. Games were played, including a pictionary type game on Holdy's chalkboard. I'm horrible at these games, even worse than Holden! His rendition of a candy cane was SPOT ON. Aw, get this. Maryl's dad whispered something in his ear "kitten", and Holden nodded, but said, "OK, but I won't draw it alive." Maryl's dad retelling the story later, said he thought to himself, Oh god did they happen across a dead cat recently? Am I traumatizing the poor boy? Holden, to the group just before drawing said, "This is something we eat for dinner". ???

He drew a lovely drumstick for a "chicken". Crisis averted.

Dice games were played, pizza was ordered - the countdown was watch live stream on a laptop since we have no cable tv. Here's the thing though, Holden was going strong, not even a wink tired. When 1am rolled around and people dragged themselves home, and we told him it was bedtime, he was honestly confused! I thought I could stay up all night? I'm not tired though! We told him he could play his ds for as long as he wanted, and indeed we heard him plunking away on it for an hour+ afterward.

Yes I forget about this thing - probably because life is so exxxxxxxciting! And freezing cold with snow numbing my mind and ability to free-think.

So what's been going on?

I don't even know, things have been crazy first with a gross sickness for a few days. Not as bad as a couple years ago with uncontrolled vomiting - wth was that about? I've always been able to keep my peace until reaching the toilet. This time it was just group agony for a few days, writhing around in bed. These canadian bugs are vicious.

After that it was a trip down to see Maryl's step-sister get married. It was very cute dressing up Holden in a nice sweater and clip on tie, he stole the show as always. We were told to get there by 1:30, unfortunately the ceremony actually started at 1. Complete humiliation was avoided due to the fact that it was a methodist ceremony with lots of group singing, so we snuck in the back during a distraction.

During the week prior, Maryl made me promise not to make her dance, so I was extremely surprised with joy when she surprised me extremely and joyfully by say, eh, foegehtiht let's dance. Pictures of Holden and Mum dancing may or may not be posted depending on quality. Speaking of pictures the poor bridal party had to wait outside for an hour in the freezing snow for picture time. Who has weddings in the winter? It was partly serene and had a nice backdrop I suppose, with snow, snow geese, and more snow. Who knows!

But the real important awesome thing about the last week or two was Maryl putting on a grand American Thanksgiving for me. She knows I'm stuck here for a bit and unable to visit family, so she graciously cooked up a gigantic, delicious meal filled with my favorite things. Stove top stuffing, sparkling cider, brusslesprouts + mashed sweet potatoes, and msg-free gravy. Appetizers included brie and a variety of olives. She knows me well... and loves me, apparently, enough at least to make my gut explode with supreme flavors of yore!

It didn't stop there though! On saturday she baked 8 (9) pies, for us to eat. Banana cream, pumpkin, peach blueberry, apple crisp, chocolate mousse, strawberry rhubarb, lemon meringue, raspberry, and we had a bit of pecan she made a few days earlier. They were all half-size pies of course, but the gluttony was just as evident. My ranking put the banana on top but a surprising second went to the peach blueberry cobbler. After that was strawberry rhubarb... and the rest a blur of deliciousness.

She refuses to acknowledge today as her birthday, and has forbidden me from mentioning it, but I will here anyway because I simply can't NOT. You are entirely too dear for/to me, Maryl, and will be for the rest of my life. I only hope that I can be the same for you, for the rest of your life, unless I die first, then it would still be for the rest of my life as said from the first part before this sentence where I mentioned the rest of my life from you, unless you die first I guess but that won't happen because I'll eat myself to an early grave - I almost wrote gravy there, but it would be from pies most likely, unless there's a lot more of those double decker poultry + stuffing + potatoes + gravy sandwiches in my future.

END MESSAGE

Halloween's great, I mean come on - I dare you to disagree. Go ahead, disagree with me. Why are you making me cry you big meany? Why do I keep typing these entries as if I'm talking to someone? Is this an email? Are you real?

Hi. So Halloween is one of my favorites, but if I think about it I guess I just like all holidays and whenever one comes by I think, hey, this is one of my favorites. In any case - this is one of those holidays that, like christmas, has that eerie void of happiness between the ages of 15-25(?). Here's what I mean - when you're x, and x is somewhere... here ---> 1>x>25, then Christmas and Halloween are pleasure_prime^3y where pleasure = candy+toys+excitement+novelty. You know what I mean. Waking up extra early Christmas morn before everyone else and just staring at the piles of presents. Assuming "you" have Christmas and "you" had parents who could "afford" presents... in giant bulk mass(x5) kids like my parents. Halloween is on the same linear slope. There's a prime age when Halloween is basically the best thing on earth and in your heart you know it to be true, and you anticipate better and better halloweens to come. Bigger arms + bigger body = more leg movement + better carrying capacity + staying up later = more candy + more excitement + + + + + + + + + + +

And then something odd happens. A halloween comes by and you think... am I too old for this? No way. You think - Halloween Party! You think - One more year, out with friends, you won't look too strange... it's not just for kids! Candy is good even though you're 16! Sure some of the house-folks say, "Aren't you a bit old for this?" Sure you run around with a pillow case instead of a treat bag... sure you run around with a crappy half-costume... you feel a little weird when a bunch of toddlers come up to trick or treat right with you when you both happen at a house at the same time...

And then it stops. How old were you when it just stopped? When it was just costume parties without the hour of trick or treating before hand? 16? 18? And then... Halloween kind of sucks. Maybe for a larf you wear a costume to college class, trying to grasp that last strand of fading luster... Maybe you excuse yourself out of a crappy party by saying you have to stay at home to watch the door. Handing out candy to kids having a “marvelous” time. Sometimes you dress up and pretend it's for the kids, to scare them, to make them laugh.
And sometimes you do nothing and the day passes by.
But by gods I did not prepare myself for the absolute, complete joy of watching your own take on the torch. All of a sudden, halloween is back, in full force, in full spirit. You spend hours on his/her costume, priming, pumping, warning about not eating candy until inspection time, warning about not running across the street, adding spice to the flavor of the occasion by watching Ghostbusters before hand, Nightmare before Christmas, telling ghost stories...

And night approaches. All of your excitement is reflected on his little face. This year he wanted to be a bat, with bat babies in a bat pouch. You (and by you, people, I'm talking about me) marvel at his imagination.

Holden met a friend at school and they've become fast friends, so this year, my first year getting to TrT with him, he also went out with his friend Ethan and his parents. We were invited to dinner at their place before nighttime, and we could do nothing but sit back and watch these two 5 year olds completely freak out with awesome happy anticipation. Ethan went as Sponge-bob and as mentioned Holden went as a bat. Maryl got a black cape for him and a small black fanny pack filled with plastic bat babies.

They had a routine going on. First Ethan would flip the candy-giver a krabby patty and say, here's your krabby patty! Most people who had no idea who Sponge-bob is assumed the little boy was saying something quite different than "krabby". One old lady even so far as said, "I wasn't born yesterday, son, you can't trick me!" Holden took right after the older boy Ethan, but what could he give candy-givers? Not bat babies...

Ethan: Here's a krabby patty!
Holden: And here's some blood!

At some point Holden turned into a vampire bat, and was happily giving out free blood! But it didn't stop there.

Ethan: Here's a krabby patty!
Holden: And here's some blood! For long life!

And -

Ethan: Here's a krabby patty!
Holden: And here's some blood, from the other trick'r'treaters... for long life!

Where does he come up with this stuff?

Ethan: Here's a krabby patty!
Holden: HERE'S SOME BLOOD! FROM OTHER KIDS! AND HERE'S SOME MORE FOR NEXT YEAR!!!!

???

Ethan: Here's a krabby patty!
Holden, increasingly excited: HERE'S SOME BLOOD! BLOOD! HERE'S YOUR BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!!!!

You have to imagine him in his cat ears while doing this (we couldn't find bat ears, but bat ears and cat ears are basically indistinguishable, right?), and he's splashing imaginary blood on people.

Ethan's parents I believe were trying to laugh along with us, but they were mostly mortified. Even Ethan was complaining, "Holden you're giving them too much Blood! I'm just giving them one Krabby Patty, you don't have to keep saying Blood!"

And that did it.

Ethan: Here's your Krabby Patty!
Holden: BLOOD! BLOOD BLOOD! BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!

For almost an hour, we tried to convince Holden to say, "Trick or Treat", then "Thank you, Happy Halloween!", but instead, all he would say is BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD! BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD, while frantically flapping his hands at very confused, slightly frightened candy-givers.

One lady was so taken aback, "What, are you trying to Hex me?!"

Near the end of the night when fatigue began to settle in, he managed to reduce the amount of bloodletting to a single or double dosage, and you could just see the "thank goodness" on the other boy's parents' faces.

Maryl and I could not stop laughing. Every house, it was a simple divine pleasure at seeing a boy so into the spirit of the occasion.

I figure I've got at least another 6-8 joyful years before it's... "uncool"... to go out with your mom and dad...

Until then, and I really mean it: Happy Halloween!

First snow has arrived.

It seems too early for the winter of discontent to crash into my life. Halloween hasn't even graced our house yet! This year I am extremely excited though - last year, I was robbed by an overzealous, miscommunication-riddled x husband, but this year is mine! I finally get to take Holden - and he is my son, I finally get to take my son (sounds strange still!) out trick'r'treatin'. He demanded to be a bat - not a bat man, not a bat boy, certainly not a robin, but an actual bat. With a pouch, and in the pouch: bat babies. Finding bat babies proved trickier than one would think. Wal-mart was a good guess, but no. Costume shops were a no go. On a whim I hit a dollar store and right there, a half dozen, wobbly plastic bats to fit perfectly in an almost-5 year old's sewn-on pouch bat ensemble.

I did mention he's going to kindergarten now I hope. He doesn't eat his whole lunch due to distractions and a stupid schedule that only allows 15 minutes for poor boys and girls to stick food in their mouths. But, he's found a friend, and last week we had our first playdate. They've taken on to each other very well, even though Holdy's a year younger. So his first Halloween with me will also be with his best friend; hopefully, a Halloween for him to remember fondly.

But the damn snow.

If you didn't know, Canadians have Thanksgiving BEFORE Halloween, and the reason+evidence is plainly drifting softly all over my car. We visited Maryl's mum+grandmum. Turkey was tender, potatoes were sweet and mashed, veggies were copious, pies plentiful, store-bought. Tried to convince my brother everything was served covered with maple syrup, but that was mostly an attempt to make light a situation that was otherwise bleak and morose. There's not much spark, not much life, joy, excitement in that family.

Or perhaps just compared to mine, whom I miss dearly, and will not be able to see until after January. It's soul crushing to miss big family events, but that only points to the obvious. I love my family generously, and I simply cannot wait to join my American and Canadian ones together.

I spent more than 2 dollars on a tooth brush.

This is a big change for me.

Instead of grabbing whatever is on discount, I bought a... 5 dollar toothbrush. It feels so...

It has this thing on the back where you can brush your tongue. I mean, like, you flip it over and now you can brush your tongue with these soft bristles that have nothing to do with cleaning your teeth.

Here's a picture of it.

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So instead of cereal every morning, chips/salsa | sandwich | wrap for lunch, rice | pasta for dinner, and smoothies for late night snack, I'm cutting out a lot of my carbs. Trying to that is. It's really, really hard to find something that isn't carby for breakfast. Oatmeal, pancakes, cereal, toast, bagels, even fruit has a lot of carbs. So what do you do? Steak and eggs? The solution we've found is low carb yogurt. I'm not much of a yogurt person in general; my experiences lie mostly with the pre-mixed fruit kind. Dannon comes to mind. More of a child's snack than a healthy eating experience.

I tried the plain non-flavored stuff and that's decent, but I've found a healthy alternatives that is surprisingly tasty. Vanilla. Shocking, huh? I pass over almost everything that is vanilla. Vanilla (to me) basically means plain, boring, uncolored, unaccented. But it's not. Vanilla is not blank. Vanilla is not empty. It's just so common and delicious that it's our first taste in ice cream, it's in our cakes and treats. He's there for you through thick and thin, always behind the scenes helping you out.

So do yourself a f(l)avor and try some Vanilla yogurt for a week for breakfast. Get one without the fake stuff like 0 sugars and 0 calories and 0 fat and machine-made artificial sweeteners. Anything that looks like it's marketed to 30 year old women is right out. Maryl found me a comely one that has just 17g of carbs for a serving - a lot less than a lot of the other ones available here. Mine says Balkan Style on it which just sounds cool. Also I cheat a little and add fresh ontario peaches in, but I'll ween myself off that once peach season's over.

So, yay, but damn I really miss Quaker 100% natural granola Oats and Honey cereal!

Hey can someone do me a favor? Come up here with your cat and make it have sex with this hideous creature that has been mewling plaintively, nonstop for the last few days. Please.

Mrowrl! Here I am!
Mrowrl! Various things are happening to my feline body!
Mrowrl! I have uncontrollable urges to meow 500x an hour!
Mrowrl! Hurry up bozo or you'll lose out on this pussy! (correct term, mrowrl.)

Teresa had a roommate whose kitty was not spayed/etc, and my god was that thing bitchy! She'd mosey over to you suggestively, rubbing its tail on everything between you and it, thrust its head up under your hand absolutely demanding affection and attention. Then as soon as you gave it a pat it would hiss and scratch. Four seconds later there she is again doing the same thing. After a few more of this it would then present to you. (??) It was obviously very confused as to the whole process. Then of course after the entire event came the messy fluids rubbed all over the carpet.

Mrowrl.

*sighs sadly* She sounds so sad out there, calling out all day. It's not a happy mrowrl. It's not, yay everything is exciting to me! It's more of a "PLEASE I'M SO SAD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE" thing. It's wearing me down.

When I was a kidlet the same thing happened to our missy cat one day. I thought it was hurt, but she seemed fine enough. My six year old brain posited that perhaps she was hungry. Food quelled the raging mrowrls for a few seconds, then back it would go sashaying hither and thither. Then a neighbor cat came over and OMIGOSH! MOM! I got mom to come over to help and she said, "Harry, leave the damn things alone." Why mom why why why is it meowing so much is everything ok mom is the cat ok I thought she was hungry but she's not and there's that other cat and they keep fighting, why is that other cat biting and jumping on Whiskey II, I keep chasing him off but he's attacking her mom why do they do that they're growling - -

HARRY, THEY'RE MATING! *stomps off*

Yeah, that explained a lot. (??)

Mrowrl.

Maryl is priceless. Let me explain!

We've been on a smoothie kick lately. A couple hours after dinner we get frozen fruits and juice in a blender and make all-natural, non sorbet/sugar/lemonade_powder smoothies. We've gotten so used to it that when work took her to Toronto and we stayed at a hotel (it was fancy! giant flatscreen tv right in the wall? It was a Holiday Inn too, crazy!), we felt down without our daily vitamin c rush.

In the last few weeks, Maryl discovered something true and pure. Drinking homemade smoothies from straws makes them taste 37.414% better. If you don't believe me, try it and then you won't not believe me anymore. We went to the store a few days ago to get general supplies, and we remember to pick up some straws but all they had were the lame, short, small ones. Definitely not appropriate.

So this is what priceless girl does. We went to the (starbucks equivalent) coffee shop across the street in order to swipe some straws, but they didn't have any "out", just behind the counter. So we order our coffee, and when the coffee mistress wasn't looking, Maryl reached behind the counter, swiped a half dozen, and slid them into my pocket. I had ordered a (frappacino equivalent) ice drink, and when the coffee mistress realized there were no straws, she went back to get some more to put in her bucket again.. After giving one to me, I paid, got changed, and we were just about to go out when Maryl reached over and grabbed half a dozen more.

Why does stealing 15 cents worth of straws evoke such excitement to race through my heart? the thrill! The love! <3 <3 <3

Pontificate with me.Is it really stealing when straws and napkins are considered free with purchase? Obviously there must be a limit. If you go to McDonalds and order a small fry and walk out with 300 ketchup packets, could they would they should they stop you? Is there a hidden limit that's in their legal books for just such cases? If it's not made public then would one be fined due to lack of clearly defined ketchup/napkin/straw swiping limits? Don't these places charge a little extra on your food purchases to recoup the cost of extraneous serviettes, so in a sense if you don't take 5 napkins with you then you're paying more than what you should get?

I miss Jack in the Box.

ok so like super shnazy schtuffs been going on. Mostly though I simply forget that this thing exists. This is proven by the fact that my last 12 entries mention that I simply forget that this thing exists.

On all fronts things are going crazy fun and wild action time.

Move to CA: We're stuck here for the moment while LAWYERS get involved. I know, it's really frightening but at the same time, exhilarating. Serious shiznit is going down and we are working it like a train to timbuckaroo. That is to say, we are paying CASH MONEY for a court order to change our lives. The best part is it's about 10% the cost we were expecting -- almost as if we mysteriously found ten thousand dollars under the bed!

Sudbury: A couple weeks ago Maryl's job took us up to a town called Sudbury, which was a five hour drive north of where we live now. The only important thing about the town is that X millions of years ago, a comet hit there. Fire explosions super condensed pressure blah blah blah, and you have a place ripe for nickel mining. Let me make up fun facts just to spice up the whole thing. Did you know that 68% of the world's nickel comes from this town? Also, that the amount of nickel mined here so far could fill up the grand canyon fifteen thousand times over, and geological scans reveal at least 4000% more left to be mined out? Are you aware, sir, that the belt you are wearing now most likely contains nickel alloy that was hand-mined by Queen Victoria herself when she came to oversea the mine's production for WWII's war efforts? Did you know that when you make love to your loved one, you are in fact, making love to nickel mined out of Sudbury? All true, I swear!

Holden absolutely adored the trip. There were two science museums of interest. One involved romping around, pulling levers on this, pressing buttons on that, watching water flow from this thing to that thing, comparing lung sizes of this dead animal to that dead animal, sitting on a bed of nails?? pressing a button to raise the nails upwards lifting you up? Better believe, you. We spent a whole 6 hours there while Maryl... sadly... worked... and worked..., but boy howdy was it fun for us! Can you imagine a giant room filled with legos? Of all sized, I guarantee, for every class of child. Holden's favorite was to muscle in on the newborn area, swimming around in a pool of giant legos and stacking them higher than the watching, awe-struck babies.

The other, involved a quick tour of said mining exploits of this famous town. We actually got to go deep underground and see how it all works. Holden was not scared at all by the weight of the world crushing down (metapsychologically) his shoulders. He was not scared when he heard old miner's tales of TIMBER DOGS! (they steal your lunch, watch out!!!). He was not scared about the description of olde tyme - "honey men"... honeyman? Honey something. He was not scared about the description of olde tyme "honey men", who got the onerous job of cleaning the miner toilets. Now wait a minute you might think, that's not so bad! You don't have to worry so much about cave-ins, you get the same pay as the other hard working miners, and you get to go home early to be with your wife and kids! Well you're very smart, aren't you. Holden wasn't scared at all and in fact wasn't even bored. If you asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up at that moment I'm sure his answer would most likely have been, MINER!

Laborious Cottage Trip: Labor day (is it "labour" day up here? crazy.) weekend, the women in Maryl's life took us all out to a cottage by a lake. The drive wasn't so bad, only three hours this time. It was great! The cottage was quaint but luxurious with its kitchen + oven, shower + hot water, toilet + toilet paper. Maryl ate a steak and got sick. OH! Holden went swimming for reals for the first time. Previously at lakes, he clutched for dear life onto mama or me while we swam around, but this time we strapped on a life jacket and plopped him in the water to waddle around by himself. He didn't cry, amazingly. When very cold water hits the crotch of a man, it makes him want to cry. I totally get that each and every time it happens, and apparently Holden now does as well. His attempts at doggy paddling were subdued under the weight of the life jacket, but otherwise we deemed it a success. Did I mention that for the few days before the trip and all during, every other hour he'd remind us that he hopes and hopes he won't have to go in the lake to learn how to swim? It's entirely too cute. Once he gets in you can't pull him out, of course...

Body Cleansing: Gosh this one sucked. Ok so for a while Maryl's been tooting a lovely story about how everyone has 10 pounds of poo stuffed in their colon that has been sitting there forever and won't go anywhere forever. Do you know this old wive's tale too? Either you use super enemas or you take some way out there pills to do the business for you. No not laxatives, nice, alternative medicine pills. Well I bought it, the story and the pills.

Now I know I'm literate. I know this because I can read and I can write. I'm probably above average on the scale of literacy, when you take into account all the babies, blind people, and dead people in the world. But I'm baffled at how obnoxiously I misread the directions for these cleansing pills -- with hilarious results!

It's a thirty day treatment. You take 2 in the morning, and 2 at night. There were two bottles. I figured that I got the 30 day OPPOSED to the 15 day, so they just stuck another bottle in there to make it 30 days. Then I realized that it probably just ramps up, so I take the Cleansing _I_ pills then carry on to the Cleansing _II_ pills. Did I read this? I really thought I did. Instead, you are SUPPOSED to take the I pills in the morning and the II pills at night. That makes sense, if you can read and understand things like a normal chump.

So what did I do? Well, the cleansing I pills were to cleanse your, get this, lungs, kidneys, and heart. The cleansing II is for the colon. So I overdosed on the first one. I swear to you, there was a time in the middle where I said to Maryl, You know? My chesty hurts. I don't understand, it hurts. Maryl convinced me it was just chest muscles soreness from all my working out. The next day I was fine. When I got around to the next set of pills, 15 days later, I noticed they looked completely different. It was then that I discovered what the other pills were for, but WORSE, I had to extend my cleansing by another 15 days because I didn't want to overdose on colon pain pills.

A week and a half into the cleansing II pills... which is about yesterday at this point... I just threw them away. I cannot accurately express the high measure of torture those pills puts one through. You simply have to try it out for yourself!!! But I'll give it a shot anyway.

Pain, soreness, tightness, twisting, weariness, fatigue, string-you-out, and of course, seven poos a day.

I actually had mood swings at the end, where I was simply depressed for no reason. I couldn't figure it out because otherwise things have been going really well. Could waking up feeling like I ran 15 miles, trying to sleep with ultra-tensing, twisting muscles actually affect someone's mood?!?!?!?!??111questionmark

I am euphoric knowing they are in the garbage right now! Holistic my ass. Those pills really pooped me out! I had a gut feeling those pills would turn south. Now I'm really bummed that I dumped $40 on those turds.

The end.