Ok so funny story. Not so funny haha but funny wazzawoop. Which isn't so much funny as "off-kilter", which has little to do with dresses.
Story.
Maryl drives home and says to me, Harry! Surprises are happening with the car window! What surprises, I ask? It's best to see. It's best to see.
So I see, and I see! The driver side window is having adventures, but not the fun kind. The kind that involve it not working properly. It can roll up a bit, for sure, but the part that rolls up isn't actually in the window - it's off! It's off its rocker!
It's been rainy here lately. That impacts my choices. I have at least two, as I can see them. I can do nothing and go take it to the shop, or I can try to manhandle it back into place. I experiment a bit, and I think I can see the problem. It's just off the track a bit - when I roll it down I can put it back in and then roll it back up. It almost works. I try a few more times. I'm getting the hang of it, I'm putting it all back in its track. It starting to look pretty good, it just needs to lock in, right there on the top left. I press a bit more - almost have it! Almost have it!
Crish. Crish is about right. The whole thing just explodes all over me. It took me a few seconds to even realize what happened, because it was right there, it was right there about to be fixed. I was about to rush up and show off that I'm once in a while a "man" as it were, and that yes I can actually fix things even car-related things. But instead, thousands of shards of glass exploded onto me.
I expect to be dead, but instead I have barely a scratch. Just a tiny drip of blood on my finger where I was holding the glass. But the rest of my body is absolutely fine - the glass shatters in a strange way, not like window glass in big shards, but it comes off as little bits of crystal. It looks like fake movie glass, but now I know better: fake movie glass is actually fake REAL movie glass. It always seems so fake in the movies, but really I just never knew what some glass looks like when it explodes on you.
It took a couple hours for me to sweep it up, due to most of it being shattered onto grass. I wasn't upset, I was humbled. I thought that I was more than I was for one brief moment, when it almost locked into place. But, alas, I am still just Harry: he who knows very little of how to fix anything car related.
Calling around, it would be around $200 to fix, but also a few days to ship. Not terrible. I mean, nobody died or got cut up too bad... >_>
The real trouble was that we needed the car to drive 3 hours down to visit Maryl's dad that weekend for a party. The drive was agonizing without a window. It was loud and made conversation impossible. We stopped after a little bit to buy some duct tape and clear plastic. Unfortunately the plastic ended up flapping and making much more noise than otherwise. And I didn't want to invest in $40 worth of window replacement plastic, since we'd be fixing it anyway in a few days.
Our left ears hurt when we finally arrived. But we arrived in one piece! And the party was excellent. It was a celebration of Maryl's sister's birthday, and a bunch of that side of that family was present. I was nervous but they accepted me almost instantly. I guess the rumors and gossip spread like wildfire, so they were prepared and acted very sociably. I had lots of conversations with lots of family, and they were delighted to see how well Holden and I have taken to each other. Huzzah!
The next day we decided to take some backroads home to avoid the noisiness of the highways. It was a pleasant drive home as we avoided most of the busy freeways. Unfortunately, we got lost 14 times. On fourteen different occasions, we took a wrong turn here or there. Their signage is absolutely ridiculous here. Sometimes they'd post mini-highways, but only on one side of the road. On two occasions we had to take a U-turn just to see what mini-highway we were driving by. Is it that they have lots of vandalism and are too busy to find replacement signs, or is it that they assume everyone will always know which way to go at all points?
We were following one road for a while until it abruptly ended in a dirt road. Farms were everywhere. No signs - but there were speed limit signs on this dirt road. Does that make it an official road? Actual honest to go 50kpm signs on a farm dirt road.
It was rough for an hour, as we saw our precious sunday slipping away from us. But at some point it was just too ludicrous for us and we laughed. We laughed at each wrong turn. We laughed at each, "Uxbridge? Uxbridge, the town of Uxbridge is coming up next? That's the complete opposite direction we need to go! We missed the turn off 30 minutes ago!" What can you do but laugh? We were in near tears of laughter at a couple points of severe misdirection.
Poor Holden in the back made the whole trip worth it though. Any other kid would be screaming and crying the whole time, but instead he was singing. He'd sing "Quack quack quack, quack quack quack, quack quack quack, one put the feather on his back, he led the others with quack quack quack, quack quack quack, quack quack quack" foreeever and ever that song went on. And we just laughed and sang with him too. He was happy with his endless supply of animal crackers and cheese and apples and juice boxes. He wanted to be home, for sure, but his good spirits kept ours soaring high as well.
A low point in the trip happened while we were driving on some strange backroad, and all of a sudden from the back we hear Holden complaining that he has to make a big stinky poo. The problem was there were no bathrooms in sight anywhere. After a minute I saw a sign on the road that said "Fresh Eggs Here" and figured at least Holden could use someone's toilet. I drove up and there were a couple men talking to each other. I approached, and explained that I had a three year old in need of a restroom, and would we please be able to use theirs. The man looked at me and laughed, and said I was free to use his bushes if I needed to. The nerve! So you know what we did? We made a big stinky poo right in his bushes. I was impressed and proud of little Holden who didn't complain at all. He was excited by the whole experience, and a little proud, himself. Such a good boy. I'm sorry the world is so terrible and cruel and full of people who won't share their toilets. :P
The trip normally takes 2.5 hours, but this time it took near seven. And yet... I'm really glad it happened. Mind you, I hope it only happens once. :)